Since this is the general discussion forum, I thought I’d take the opportunity to thank a few classes of classless people for all of the entertainment they’ve given me over the past few weeks. I find absurdity to be the most humorous of all behavior and man, I’ve had some real wipe-the-tears-from-my-eyes laughs reading some of the posts in these forums lately!
First, a big thank you to all rage quitters who feel the need to make some big parting statement before leaving the game. Typically these players will write something like, “I’ve played for over 500 hours but I’m quitting now because…” and usually has some childish parting insult directed towards the developer, publisher or (whoever…) Oh man, I love these guys! Never fails to make me burst out laughing over the idea that they think anyone cares why they are rage quitting. Yep, always good for a few laughs, these guys…
Next we have the “do this, change this, fix this” guys. They love to make posts demanding that certain changes are made to the game or they’ll quit playing. Seriously, how funny is that?!? To think that anyone would spend even a single dollar changing (whatever) just to keep these guys from quitting… Ok, I’ll admit, this group isn’t quite as funny as the rage quitters, but almost. I mean, I can almost picture the folks at Smilegate running a betting pool each week to see how many of these “do this or else…” people they can get to quit, just by ignoring their posts. (Brings a smile to my face just thinking about it.)
The next group who deserves a ‘thank you’ are the people I call “volcanoes”. This is a special class of classless people who not only get absurdly upset when someone disagrees with them, but they so over-react that it’s like watching a volcano blow! (And admit it, who isn’t fascinated watching a volcano blow it’s top??) Typically they’ll see a post and rage at the writer about what was said, hurling insults like lava bombs and spewing their condescension on anyone who doesn’t fully support the Volcano’s personal views. Volcanoes may not always be funny, but they ARE entertaining in their own way.
I also need to send a big thank you to the “forum experts”. I think these are actually my favorite group because they so often say the most absurd things, but never offer real proof to backup their claims. You can spot a forum expert even before reading their posts because they use titles like “Honing rates are fake” or “Amazon/Smilegate/My Third Grade Teacher lied to us!” These people are literally experts at everything and love to tell us all about it, unless you ask for their proof… You want a good laugh? Treat a ‘forum expert’ like a firecracker and light their fuse by asking for proof to backup their claim, then step back and wait for the explosion! In some cases you can actually hear their head explode through your headphones!
Finally, the last class of classless people I want to thank are the ones I call the “Specials”. (Notice it’s capitalized - it’s a title, which they earn thru lots of practice and hard work.) These people are extra “special” not because they lack logic, proof or courtesy, but because they stick to their beliefs despite overwhelming proof against it, shrug off logic like water off a duck’s back, and will lash out at other people while claiming insult when none was given. A ‘Special’ will bang their head against the wall, “raging against the machine”, hoping someone will ask them why, then answer with a complaint that their head hurts. Reading a post written by a Special can be pretty entertaining, in the same way that an old fashion slap-stick movie is… sometimes it’s painful to watch, but generally it’s good for a few laughs.
There are many, many more classes of classless people I’d like to thank, but instead I’ll just end by offering some real thanks to you, the reader, for spending a bit of your time reading this post… I think that was a pretty classy thing to do.
